Here With Me
by iamkellylouise
Summary: A year after Addison left Seattle Naomi & Sam are set to re-marry, inviting Derek & Mark. They tell them to bring whoever they want. Bringing Alex and Addison together. Revelations are made, tears are shed. Can Alex get another chance? Addex.


**A/N: Okkk, another Addex from me, written today when I should be finishing a script for college =/ If you fantastic lot would can you look through my fics and review any unreviewed Addex, I want to know what you think!! Lyrics are from the Dido song Here With Me. Amazing.**

**Oh and this is set a year after Addison left. Basically forget everything you know about anything that happened from the minute Season 3 ended. And kind of forget the backdoor pilot of PP.**

**So, reviews please. Love Kelly. X.**

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* * *

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_I didn't hear you leave  
I wonder how am I still here  
And I don't want to move a thing  
It might change my memory_

_Oh I am what I am  
I'll do what I want  
But I can't hide  
I won't go  
I won't sleep  
I can't breathe  
Until you're resting here with me  
I won't leave  
I can't hide  
I cannot be  
Until you're resting here with me_

_I don't want to call my friends  
They might wake me from this dream  
And I can't leave this bed  
Risk forgetting all that's been_

-x-

Alex doesn't know why he's there, he doesn't really know why any of them are there. He didn't know these people. Shepard and Sloan knew them but he didn't. Well he knew one of them but, not the one's who invited them.

"_Derek's old friends from med-school are getting re-married, they said he could bring whoever he wanted, he told me to invite you guys" Meredith said in the residents lounge._

"_When? Where? And do they not have any friends of their own?!" Cristina exclaimed._

"_It's next week, in LA, they have plenty of friends they were just being nice Cristina"_

"_Wait. LA?! As in, where, Addi---Dr Montgomery is?" Alex stuttered._

"_Yeah, Naomi, the bride, is her best friend, she's maid of honor, again, Derek's the best man, they're doing like a carbon copy type thing, same groomsmen, same bridesmaids, there's a pre-wedding bachelor-bachelorette type party 2 days before, it's on the beach, there's going to be alcohol, lots of it"_

"_I'm in" said George "Callie will probably want to see Dr Montgomery anyway"_

"_Yeah, I'm there" said Cristina "Why not, I could use a drink"_

"_I'd love to go, sun, sea, sand, alcohol, I'm so there" Izzie smiled._

"_Alex?"_

"_I don't really have a choice do I" he muttered._

"_Not really" Meredith smiled "It'll be fun"_

"_Fine" Alex sighed._

-x-

He doesn't know why he's there when they're at the airport. When they're on the plane. When they land. When they collect their baggage. When they're in their hire cars. When they check in at the hotel. When they arrive at the beach house of Sam and Naomi Bennett. He just doesn't know why he's there. And then he sees her. Standing on the deck in a flowing black dress. Her red hair glowing in the light of the setting sun. He knows now why he's there. It's for her. It's always been for her. The voice of Naomi snaps him from his reverie.

"She misses you y'know"

"Wha….what?!"

"Alex right? Alex Karev?"

"Uh, yeah, right" he stuttered.

"She told me all about you" Naomi sighed "You really hurt her but, she misses you"

"She doesn't miss me" Alex scoffed.

"Do you miss her?"

"Well yeah but, it's been a year and, she doesn't miss me"

"You should go and talk to her" Naomi said softly "She's been having a tough time lately, she could use a friend"

"I'm not her friend, at least, not anymore"

"Just talk to her" Naomi said squeezing his arm before walking away and talking to Sam, Alex watched as Addison hugged her own body. He could tell just from the way she held herself that she wasn't happy. She wasn't, Addison. He slowly made his way over to her, coughing a little to make his presence known, she snapped her head around and gasped a little.

"Karev, Alex, wha….what are you doing here?" she stuttered.

"Naomi and Sam told Shepard to bring who he wanted, the whole clan is here, shouldn't you know these things, being the maid of honor and all"

"Well I, I knew he'd bring Meredith and, I asked Callie to come and, I just didn't expect you to be here"

"You didn't come back" Alex blurted.

"What?!"

"When the Chief and Adele had their 30th wedding anniversary 6 months ago, you didn't come back, I, I thought you would and, I waited, I waited for you to come"

"I was busy" she said quietly "I called them, you shouldn't have waited, why would you wait?"

"Because I miss you Addison"

"Stop it" Addison said firmly.

"I'm not doing anything" he said quietly "I miss you"

"It wasn't me who screwed up Alex" she spat.

"I made a mistake Addison, we all make mistakes"

"Yeah, mine was you" she whispered hoarsely.

"You don't mean that" Alex said shakily.

"Naomi and Sam, they got married the same year as me and Derek did and, look at them, look how happy they are, they had their rough patch, they got divorced for gods sake and now, now they're back together and, they have Maya and what do I have Alex, I have nothing, nothing at all, because in the end, everyone leaves me, everyone so just shut up, shut the hell up!" she snapped walking away and over towards Callie who had been watching them with curious eyes.

"Hey" Callie smiled pulling Addison into a hug "What was that all about?"

"Nothing" Addison muttered "Anyway, how are you Cal? I've missed you" Addison smiled hugging her again "You look good"

"I am good, you're not though"

"That obvious" Addison sighed.

"I didn't want to leave you" Alex said stepping in front of her.

"Did I not just tell you to shut up?!" Addison hissed.

"I didn't want to hurt you Addison, that wasn't my intention, I wanted to save you"

"Save me?" she asked incredulously "I don't know how treating me like a piece of shit was saving me"

"I would have hurt you in the long run, hurt you worse than I did then, because when I let people in, when I let them get close I hurt them, probably because of my stupid daddy issues but, I, I just want to protect you"

"I don't need protecting"

"I know but, I wanted too"

"Just leave me alone Alex" Addison sighed again walking away from him.

"You just need to tell her" Callie said softly "She's not a mind reader"

"She hates me" Alex sighed.

"You hurt her but, she doesn't hate you, I'm pretty sure she loves you Alex"

Alex sighed again, he walked over to where Addison stood catching up with Mark, Derek, Meredith and Izzie, Cristina and George were helping themselves to drinks.

"Addison" he started.

"Oh my god do you ever give up?!" she snapped.

"Not really" he smirked.

"Just back off" she whispered "Please Alex, don't do this"

"I think she wants you to leave Karev" said Derek.

"Addison…."

"Shut up" Addison said walking away for the third time.

"WHEN YOU GET A MINUTE I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU" Alex shouted, everyone froze, their eyes snapping over to him, Addison was stood still on the spot, she turned around, walked over to him and slapped him hard around the face.

"Ok I deserved that but…."

"Just shut the hell up!" she screeched "You were the one who screwed up Alex, you can come up with any excuse you want, you can tell me it was about protection, or that you were trying to save me but I won't believe you, you watched my heart get broken, you saw what it did to me, how much it hurt when I had to get a divorce, it _killed_ me and you knew that, you knew that and you let me fall for you anyway, you said and did all these perfect things, things that made me want you and then when I thought I had you, when I thought you felt the same way you ripped whatever heart I had left out of my chest and stamped on it, repeatedly, so no, you don't get to do this, you don't get to come here into _my _life and mess it up, you don't know half the crap I've been through in the past year so you do not get to come here and tell me that you love me, you do not get to do that" Addison said frantically wiping the tears of her cheeks, Alex stepped forward and reached out to her, she took a step back.

"Addison" he said softly.

"I needed you" Addison sobbed "I needed you and you weren't there and, I know it's my fault too, I know I could have called but, if you'd have been there, if you hadn't have done that to me, I wouldn't have gone through that on my own, I wouldn't and, I needed you"

"Addison, what, what are you talking about?" he stuttered "Addison, tell me" he said firmly as she continued to sob, pulling away from him as he touched her arm "Addison, what happened?"

"I had a miscarriage ok!" she shouted "I, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks after getting here and, I was going to call you but, by the time I'd built up enough courage to pick up the phone there was, there was blood and, and pain and, and, I" she sobbed "I, I feel empty, so, so empty"

Alex finally took Addison into his arms, she sobbed hard into his chest, he rubbed her back and kissed her temple softly.

"It's ok" he whispered "I'm here, I'm here Addison, I'm sorry it's late, it's a little late I know that but, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere"

"It, it hurts Alex, so much, I, I, it hurts"

"I'm here Addison" he said softly "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry" he said a few tears trickling down his own cheeks "I'm sorry"

"I, I need to lie down" she whimpered.

"Ok, I'm sure Naomi will let you use one of the bedrooms"

"My, my house, it's, that one" she said pointing to the house next door "I can't, I feel, weak" she said clinging to his body "I don't think…."

"I'll pick you up ok?" he said softly "Just hold on" he said moving her arms so they wrapped around his neck, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to her house. The guests started to chatter instantly.

"Oh my god" Izzie gasped.

"Oh. My. God!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Did that, did that just happen?" Mark stuttered.

"I think it did" Derek said still slightly stunned.

"Poor Addison" Izzie said softly "She looked…."

"Heartbroken" Meredith said sadly.

"I've never seen her like that" said Derek "Ever"

"Me neither, and I've seen her heartbroken" Mark sighed "Do you think we should check on her?"

"Alex will take care of her Mark" Meredith said softly "We should just, leave them be"

"He's the one who hurt her"

"And he's the only one who can take the pain away" Naomi said stepping into the conversation "You haven't been here, I have, I've tried everything to get her to talk and she just, she shuts off, she's not Addison and then he shows up and, she's talking, she's actually telling him how she feels, she doesn't do that, she's been nothing more than a shadow this past year, you want to protect her, you always have done but, that's not your job anymore, it's his"

"If he hurts her again…." Mark started.

"We'll all kick his ass Mark" Naomi said with a small smile.

"Yeah, I might be tiny but I can take him" said Meredith.

Everyone looked at her determined face and laughed a little.

-x-

Alex carried Addison all the way into her house. He sat down on the sofa still cradling her in his arms, he brought a hand up to her face and stroked her cheek softly.

"I'm so sorry Addison" he whispered.

"I know, me too" she sniffed.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for"

"I should have called, when I found out, I should have called"

"You were going to call, you said you were going to call and then it happened"

"Would you have come, if I called, well, Naomi wanted to call, I told her not to bother you, that it wasn't a problem anymore, the, there was no baby to worry about"

"I would have been on the first flight out of Seattle" Alex said softly "But you were scared, I get that, and I hurt you, I understand Addie"

"Did you mean it, are you, in love with me?"

"Yeah, I'm in love with you" Alex smiled "I've been in love with you for, god knows how long, I was going to come after you, I was but, you said you hated me and, I didn't want to bother you"

"You went after Ava" she said sadly.

"You told me I sucked and that you hated me and, I knew she wanted a chance and, I know that sounds pathetic but, she wasn't there anyway, when I got back there and I didn't even care, I was relieved but, when I found out you were gone, that hurt, and I talked myself out of coming to find you, which was stupid and, and then the Chief had the party and I knew you'd be invited and I was ready, ready to tell you how I felt and then, you didn't show, and, why didn't you come Addison?"

"After, the miscarriage, I was, a mess, I just tried to get from sun up to sun down, filling my day with work, that's all I did and, when he called me I just couldn't do it, it was too soon, I couldn't see you, because every time I thought about you I thought about the baby and, I didn't want to think about it"

"How far along were you, when it happened?"

"11 weeks" Addison whispered "I found out when I was 10 so, I didn't really have long to get used to it y'know, but I was happy, when the stick turned blue, I was so happy and, all I had to do was call you and then, there was blood and I knew, I just knew and, god Alex, it hurt so much, the pain, not the physical pain, that wasn't too bad but the _pain_, I've never felt that way before"

"I should have been there" Alex whispered "I'm, I'm never leaving you again, ever, I'm staying put, whether you like it or not, I'm staying put"

"There might be a little problem there Alex, 1000 miles between us problem"

"It's called a transfer Addison"

"I can't ask you to do that"

"I'm not asking you to ask" Alex said putting her fingers under her chin and forcing her to look at him "I'm telling you"

"She'd be about 4 months by now" Addison said softly.

"She? You think it was a girl"

"Just a feeling" Addison shrugged "I think, I think she would have had your eyes and, my hair and her first word would've been Dada and it would piss me off because I would have been the one in labour for 36 hours because she would have inherited a stubborn streak from both of us and, she would love the beach but the rain would always be her favourite because you'd dress her up in a raincoat and wellies and splash in the puddles with her and then you'd come home and I'd tell you off for letting her get wet and you'd both start sneezing so we'd all get in our pajamas and sit in front of the fire drinking hot chocolate and she'd fall asleep in your arms and, I sound stupid don't I" Addison blushed.

"No, no you sound, that sounds, perfect" Alex smiled softly "We could still have that"

"It might happen again" Addison said shakily.

"It might" Alex nodded "But I'll be here, and we'll keep trying, until it sticks, until we get our stubborn little red-head" he grinned, she laughed quietly "See, there's that smile I love so much"

"I love you" she said staring deep into his eyes.

"I love you too" he said leaning down and softly kissing her "Do you want to go back out there?"

"I could use some sleep actually" she said with a laugh.

"Well" Alex said running his fingers through her hair "How about you get into bed, I'll go and get my stuff from the hotel and then I come back here and hold you like I should have been every night for the past year, sound good?"

"Perfect" Addison smiled, she untangled herself from his body and walked into her kitchen, she pulled a set of keys from one of the drawers and handed them over "Spare set, now they're yours, if you want them"

"Of course I do" he smiled "I shouldn't be long, half an hour tops, well, make it 45 minutes because I have to get the car keys from Izzie but, don't stay awake for me, go and rest"

"Kiss me first" she said quietly, Alex pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard on the lips, tongues finding each other, hands gripping onto bodies, they pulled away breathlessly "Wow" Addison gasped, giggling slightly at herself.

"Wow" he grinned "I'll be right back" he said kissing her again "I love you"

"Love you too" she smiled.

Alex quickly left Addison's house, going back out of the patio doors and across the the Bennett's, everyone stopped talking and looked at him, he rolled his eyes and headed straight for Izzie.

"Hey, can I have the car keys? I'm checking out of the hotel"

"Oh uh, yeah, sure" Izzie said taking them from her bag "Is uh, she ok?"

"As well as can be expected but, we'll get through it"

"I'm sorry Alex" Izzie said softly.

"What for?"

"It was your baby too"

"I know" he said sadly "But this isn't about me, it's about her and, I'm going to be here, she's never going to have to go through that alone again, through anything"

"Your moving to LA?"

"I love her Iz"

"I'll miss you" Izzie said wrapping her arms around him "But you have to do what's right"

"Thanks Izzie, I should…."

"Sure, go, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure" Alex smiled.

-x-

Alex stepped into Addison's house less than an hour later, he made his way up the stairs with his suitcase, he stepped into the nearest open door which was without a doubt Addison's bedroom, clothes strewn all over the floor, obviously from before the party when she was choosing a dress, he smiled softly at the sight of her curled up under the covers in the middle of the bed, he shut the door quietly behind him, stripped down to his boxers and wife-beater and climbed in beside her, spooning her body.

"Alex?" she mumbled.

"Sshh, I'm here, go back to sleep" he said soothingly.

"Night" she yawned.

"Night"

-x-

Addison woke the next morning to an empty bed, she sat up and frowned a little, she got up and threw on her robe, she made her way down the stairs to the sounds of pans sizzling.

"Are you, _cooking_?" she asked as Alex moved around the kitchen.

"No I'm juggling" he smirked.

"Hey! Your still a smart ass!" she exclaimed taking a seat at the table.

"I've changed but I haven't changed that much" he laughed "You were supposed to stay in bed so I could bring it up"

"Oh I'm sorry" she mocked "I was lonely"

"You'll never be lonely again" he said kissing her lips softly "Pancakes?"

"Yes please" she smiled, Alex placed a plate in front of her and put a stack of pancakes on it.

"Now I've been searching through your cupboards and we have pancake syrup, some weird fruit sauce thing and chocolate sauce"

"Chocolate" she grinned.

"Chocolate for breakfast, we have a lot in common y'know" he smirked as he put pancakes onto his plate and sat down next to her, squeezing on the chocolate sauce.

"So, you cook, any other surprises for me Karev?" she smirked.

"I uh, I chose neonatal as a speciality"

Addison dropped her fork "You did WHAT?!" she exclaimed "What happened to plastics?"

"A very wise woman once told me that when you get to see a baby heal and go home and you imagine the whole life that they're going to live, that there's nothing better than that, and that never changes, she was right" Alex smiled.

"Well, she must have been a very smart woman"

"Oh, she is, she has chocolate on her face though" Alex said reaching out and wiping the side of her mouth with his thumb.

"Thank you" Addison said softly.

"What for?"

"For being here"

"Always" he said squeezing her hand "What's the plan for today?"

"There isn't one, well, Naomi's coming over tonight, she's sleeping in the guest room, superstitions and all that"

"So we have the whole day together?"

"Shouldn't you go and see your friends?"

"I see them everyday, I haven't seen you in a year and I hate to say but I have to leave after the wedding to sort out my transfer and get my stuff so, I want to spend this time with you"

"Ok, you can stay" Addison smiled.

"Why thank you" he laughed.

-x-

"Holy crap" Alex gasped as Addison walked out of her -their- walk in wardrobe the next morning.

"What?" she asked nervously.

"You look, stunning, like, wow" he stuttered.

"You think?" she asked looking at herself in the mirror "I'm not so sure"

"You can't seriously be telling me you don't know you're beautiful" he said walking up beside her.

"It's been a long time since someone called me beautiful, hot, yes but beautiful, not in a long time"

"Your beauty amazes me" he said kissing her softly "And green is _so_ your colour, makes your eyes sparkle"

"Thanks" Addison laughed "You scrub up well too Dr Karev" she said running a hand along the lapel of his jacket.

"I'm the maid of honors date, gotta look my best" he grinned.

"Can you go over to Sam's, make sure everythings going smoothly, I need to help Naomi get ready, so uh, I'll see you out there?"

"Definitely" Alex smiled "Love you" he said pecking her lips.

"Love you too" she smiled.

Alex quickly made his way down the stairs and over to Sam's house, he knocked on the back doors, Sam walked over and opened it.

"Hey, Alex right? We didn't really get a chance to meet at the party" Sam said shaking his hand "Let me guess, Addie sent you over to check on us"

"Yeah" Alex laughed "She's throwing me out"

"Come on in" Sam said opening the door further, the room dropped into an awkward silence as Mark and Derek looked up at him.

"Whatever you've got to say just say it" said Alex.

"If I ever, _ever_ see her that upset again I _will_ kick your ass" Mark said firmly.

"What I think Mark meant to say was, keep her happy" Derek said a little softer.

"I will" Alex nodded "But, you should know that that wasn't about me, not really, that was about our child and, she's scared, scared that it'll happen again and, she doesn't need you two making snide remarks ok?"

"We know" Derek said softly "Is she, ok?"

"She's still upset but, we're getting through it, I don't think she let herself really mourn so, she's almost reliving it, but I'm there, I'm there for her this time and, I'm not going anywhere"

"Your moving out here?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow.

"As soon as I can get a transfer" Alex nodded.

"Well, good luck Karev, I mean that" Derek smiled sincerely.

"That doesn't mean I won't be back to kick your ass if you hurt Meredith again ok?"

"Understood" Derek laughed.

"Good" Alex smiled "So, we should get this show on the road, because somehow things running smoothly has become my responsibility and she'll have my head if something goes wrong"

"You don't know the half of it" Mark smirked.

-x-

"Time to dance" Derek said holding his hand out to Addison.

"What?" she said looking up at him.

"Best Man, Maid of Honor, dance" he said holding his hand out again, she smiled a little and took it, he led them over to the dance floor and wrapped an arm around her waist, the other holding her hand, her other hand on his shoulder as they swayed to the music.

"I'm sorry Addie, that you had to go through that, it must of been, hard"

"Yeah, it was" Addison said softly "But, I'm all good, I'm getting through it anyway"

"So, you and Karev, you kept that quiet" Derek smirked.

"What we had wasn't exactly a relationship, it was, I don't even know what it was, all I know is that I fell in love with him, he hurt me, I moved here and, well, everything started to fall apart, but, he's here now and, I think this is it"

"Me too, he really loves you, I can just, tell"

"Yeah" Addison smiled "So, how are things with you and Meredith?"

"Good, great, we uh, we split up for a little while, after you left, I even, dated someone else" Addison smacked him on the forehead "Ow! We got back together in the end, we just, went through a rough patch"

"You can't let her go Derek"

"I won't" he laughed.

"Can uh, I cut in?" Alex asked standing next to them.

"Sure" Derek smiled, he leaned in and kissed Addison's cheek "You look amazing Addie"

"Thanks, I'll see you around?"

"Sure" Derek nodded walking away, Alex instantly took Addison in his arms.

"You ok?" he asked quietly.

"Perfect" she whispered "Just perfect"

"I love you"

"I love you too" she smiled leaning in for a kiss.

-x-

_**4 years later.**_

"Alex!?" Addison shouted as she walked into the house, she hung her dripping wet coat up on the hook -she'd been there for 5 years and she still couldn't grasp the fact that it rained in LA- and walked further into the house.

"Alex?!" she shouted again, she walked over to the patio doors and rolled her eyes a little at the sight in front of her, Alex running around on the deck being chased by their 3 year old, stubborn red-head Emily, she opened the door and popped her head out.

"If she gets ill I'm blaming you" she shouted.

"Hey!" Alex smiled "She won't get ill, coat and wellies" he said pointing at her.

"Mommy! Come and play!" Emily shouted.

"It's raining sweetheart, you know Mommy doesn't like the rain, 5 more minutes and then you have to come inside ok?"

"But Mommy!" Emily whined.

"Come on Mrs Karev, just for 5 minutes" Alex pouted.

"Please" Emily said also pouting, Addison could never say no to that pout, no matter which one of them was doing it, she sighed heavily and ran out into the rain, she scooped Emily up in her arms and swung her around a little.

"Mommy's hair is going to get very big y'know" she smirked.

"Jump in the puddles with me Mommy!" Emily smiled, Addison laughed and put Emily onto her feet, she's the only person on earth Addison would ever ruin good shoes for, 10 minutes later and they were all back in the house, and then the sneezing started. Alex took Emily to her room and changed her into her pajama's as Addison put on her own, Addison then took Emily downstairs and made them all hot chocolate, as Alex joined them they turned on the fire and sat down curled up in a blanket sipping on their drinks, or rather Alex and Addison sharing theirs with a very sleepy Emily, she soon fell asleep in Alex's lap.

"Is this how you imagined it?" Alex whispered to Addison.

"No. This is better" she smiled, Alex reached over and kissed her softly, knowing that this was just one of the many traditions they would have together for as long as they lived.

-x--x--x-


End file.
